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Do I Have To Choose?
Chapter Fifteen
After I had a cup of coffee I walked out of the little diner and looked out at the street. It was really dark but the lights from the cars and buildings made it seem like it was still day. I started my walk back to the hotel and about an hour later I got there.
*Uhm... miss there are a ton of messages for you!* A lady at the reception desk called to me as soon as I walked through the door. I sighed and walked over to her, taking my jacket off as I smiled at her. She gave me all my messages, which were from AJ and Brian mostly, and I walked upstairs, going through them all. As I stood in the elevator I kept thinking that I didn't really accomplish anything by going out... I heard the quiet ding of the elevator as it reached my floor and I waited for the doors to open.
*Meagan!* Nick screamed as he pulled me out of the elevator into his arms. I laughed a little at his excitement. *Thank god you're okay.* He said looking at my face.
*I'm fine, chill out.* I said smiling a little bit.
*Yeah but you're freezing. Ten bucks says you get a cold?* Nick said and I laughed.
*You're on.* I said smiling and we started to walk to my room.
*So where did you go? Everyone's been worried about you.* Nick said. *Brian and AJ.* He mumbled as he coughed and looked at the floor and I laughed. *So you gonna tell me what happened or what?* He asked me pulling on my shirt like a little four year old.
*I kinda kissed Brian and I felt really bad and I didn't know what to do so I just left. AJ knows though, I told him before I left...* I explained looking at Nick. *Have you seen him? Does he look mad?* I asked him and Nick busted out laughing.
*AJ never gets mad, I will tell you that... Brian has a mad fat lip and a black eye.* Nick said and I smiled and gasped.
*He didn't?* I asked him and Nick laughed.
*He did. But he wouldn't tell anyone why... he was so mad and neither would Brian.* Nick explained laughing and then we stopped in front of my door.
*Thanks for making me smile,* I said as I kissed Nick's cheek and hugged him. *If you see the guys tell them I'm back if they want to talk to me?* I asked and he agreed.
*Feel better... well feel worse cuz I want ten bucks!* He said and I laughed as he nudged my shoulder and then left, tousling my hair. I wasn't alone for 3 minutes before there was a knock on the door. I answered it and when I saw AJ I didn't know what to do. I invited him in and there was a very awkward silence for a few minutes.
*I'm sorry for just leaving like that and for... you know.* I said quietly and AJ looked at me.
*Look just tell me it didn't mean anything to you. Tell me that Brian kissed you and you didn't kiss back.* AJ said looking into my eyes, his pleading gaze tearing me apart inside.
*AJ... it's not that simple. I mean I don't think it meant anything. Brian feels a lot for me and I just don't feel like that about him. But I did kiss him back.* I explained and AJ sighed. *I'm sorry,* I said putting my hand on his shoulder and he looked up at me.
*I love you, and I hope you love me.* AJ said sighing again. He took my hand in his and kissed my fingers slowly.
*AJ, I decided...* I started to tell him but I stopped and he waited for me to finish. *That I love you a lot.* I said. *I'm sorry for kissing Brian and it won't happen again, I hope you can forgive me.* I said looking into his eyes for an answer.
*You know I'd do anything for you. The only thing I'm worried about is that I love you so much that I'm blind... I just hope you mean it because I don't want to lose you and of course I forgive you.* AJ explained and I smiled.
*I do mean it AJ.* I said hugging him tightly and he hugged me back. I could hear his sigh of relief now that he had me back in his arms and I never wanted to let him go. He felt so right but I knew that him and me couldn't be together. It just wasn't going to work. But not now... I couldn't tell him now.
A Couple Days Later
*AJ this is turning out to be a perfect night.* I said to him as I smiled at his beautiful eyes. We had gone out to a club and then came back to the hotel and got room service for dinner.
*Here.* He said feeding me a bite of his ice cream and I laughed as he dripped it down my face. He walked over to my side and stood me up and kissed my lips and started licking my chin and my neck, getting all the ice cream off. I let out a small moan and I could feel his smile on my neck as he backed me up into the bedroom. I let myself fall on to the bed as AJ turned around and shut the door, taking his shirt off as he walked back to me.
*Ooh.* I said joking and he smiled as he climbed up on to the bed, pushing me back up to the headboard. He laid on top of me as he kissed my lips sensually. As we kissed he reached over my head and turned the light off.
The Day For My Departure
I hadn't really been that close to AJ since that night, I didn't know what I was going to do. Today was the day I was leaving and I still hadn't told him. I was sitting in the back row of this huge room because the Backstreet Boys had a press conference. I watched as AJ spoke into the microphone and then I directed my attention towards Brian and I smiled at them both.
*What about girlfriends? Do you all have girlfriends?* Someone asked and I sighed, dreading the answer. I looked up and there AJ and Brian were, looking straight at me.
*I, actually, am dating Nichole. She's the opening act for us.* Kevin said.
*And I'm single! But I'm proud.* Nick said smiling and I laughed at him.
*Me too.* Howie said smiling.
*Well, I'm dating this wonderful woman... But I don't think it's going to last.* AJ said and my breath caught in my throat. I thought he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me? *I mean, don't get me wrong,* AJ said as the other guys looked at him. *I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but she's not gonna be around forever. Plus she wants to break it off soon.* He said and I looked at him.
*Who is she?* More than one person asked at the same time.
*Her name is Meg. She's just a girl, no one famous.* He said laughing as they swarmed him with questions. I guess since he had said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me they got interested. After the press conference I waited out back until they came out of the back of the building and were swarmed with fans. I waited inside the limo for about 15 minutes until they finally got away from the crowd and the guys got in. ~Brian didn't answer the question.~ I thought suddenly to myself.
*Hey,* Nick said jumping on my lap and I screamed a little bit.
*Boy, you need to get off now! That's my job.* I said to him as I pushed him off of me and I sat on his lap.
*That's much better!* He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist as I wrapped mine around his neck and laid my head on his shoulder.
*By the way, you owe me ten dollars, I don't recall getting sick.* I said and Nick shrugged.
*I owe you.* He said winking at me and I laughed, burying my face in his neck.
All of a sudden there was a flash and Howie was laughing his ass off.
*You did not just take a picture of me? I look sooo bad!* I said to him and he laughed along with Nick and the rest of the guys.
*Come here.* AJ said pulling me off of Nick and on to his lap.
*Well I feel like a stuffed animal.* I said crossing my arms stubbornly across my chest and sulking. All the guys laughed at me and eventually I laughed at myself too. We got back to the hotel and I walked up to my room while AJ stayed downstairs with the guys to talk to some person. Someone knocked on the door and I figured AJ had left his key in here so I got up to get it. To my surprise it was Brian.
*Hey,* I said surprised and he smiled as he walked past me into the room.
*Hi, I know you're leaving today and I just came by to say that I'll miss you a lot.* He said smiling at me and I hugged him tightly.
*I'll miss you too. I know we had rough times but I still love you.* I said to him looking into his eyes.
*I love you too Meg.* He said caressing the side of my face with his hand and I sighed. After we talked for a little bit he left and I was so grateful that he didn't kiss me. Then AJ walked in a few minutes after he left.
*Hey gorgeous.* He said wrapping his arms around my waist as I walked up to him to greet him.
*Hi baby.* I said smiling and kissed his lips softly. *AJ I need to talk to you.* I said as we sat down on the couch.
*What about?* He asked me smiling.
*Well I'm leaving today and...* I said letting go of his hand and the smile on his face faded.
*I know you are but--.* He started.
*AJ let me finish.* I said putting my finger over his mouth. *And, a lot of things on this tour happened that changed my life. Most good... some bad.* I said referring to Brian and me. *I just think it would be for the best if I left everything behind when I left.* I said looking into his beautiful eyes. *Even you.* I choked out as the tears slid down my face. He just looked at me, with no emotion on his face or in his eyes.
*Okay...* He said still looking confused. *I thought the other night we... you know and,* He said but he didn't really know what he was saying.
*It's not that. I love you but I just need to think about my future and I can't see you in it.* I said as the tears still ran down my cheeks.
*Oh,* He said taking a deep breath. *Alright...* He added letting it out. He walked into our room and shut the door and I just cried on the couch until it was time for me to get my bags and bring them downstairs. All the guys were waiting for me, with the exception of AJ, as I came out of the elevator.
*Hey guys,* I said smiling. They really did make me happy.
*Yo sup girl??* Nick asked as he picked me up and spun me around and I laughed more.
*Nothing, I'm gonna miss you though.* I said as he put me down and hugged me tightly.
*Me too Muffin.* He said in a sicky-sweet voice and I smacked his arm. I hugged the rest of the guys and we were all walking to the limo as I heard someone call my name.
*Hey,* AJ said catching his breath. All the other guys knew something was up so they said goodbye one last time and then left.
*You're not mad?* I asked him.
*Mad? No... disappointed, yes. But you're leaving and I don't want us to part like this.* AJ explained and I smiled.
*Good, me either.* I said as he took my hand.
*Allow me to escort you to the airport my lady.* He said as he opened the door of the limo and I walked in, followed by him. We talked about things until we got there.
*Do you think you should come in?* I asked as he started to get out of the limo. *Someone might recognize you.* I added.
*No worries!* He said as he jumped out of the limo, pulling me out with him and I laughed at him.
*Miss, I will make sure all of your things get to baggage.* Jon the limo driver told me and I thanked him as AJ pulled me away and we started walking. We held hands as we talked about stupid things and finally we got to the gate and they were already boarding.
*Well,* I said sighing as I played with the belt loops on my pants.
*How bout a little good bye kiss?* AJ asked me smiling and I smiled back at him. He put his hands on my face and neck and leaned in, kissing my lips softly. He made the kiss a little deeper until the loudspeaker, saying it was the last chance to board, interrupted us. I got my ticket out of my pocket and I unfolded it, giving my hands something to do. *I'm gonna miss you baby. You know that.* AJ said as he played with my hair.
*I know, me too.* I said blushing slightly.
*I love you, I always will and I hope we can still be friends.* He said kissing my lips one last time.
*Of course, I love you too. Call me.* I said smiling and slowly let go of his hand and walked through the doors.
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